No spark keep dating
Of course, open relationships and polyamory aren’t for everyone, nor are they inherently any better or worse than traditional monogamy.Beating the Coolidge effect doesn’t mean that the only solution is to sleep with other people.Coolidge came to the chicken yard, she noticed that the rooster was vigorously mating with the hens. Male rats, after having mated with the receptive females housed with it will show a decreased interest in sex, even when the females are still interested.However, adding a new female rat instantly revived the male, who would proceed to immediately mate with the new female.It’s enough to fog over all those times you ranted about how much you hated the dating scene and you begin to reminisce the days when we were single and the world was our surprisingly open-minded oyster. A long term relationship doesn’t mean that you’re doomed to watch the spark fade away. One of the biggest mistakes that couples make is that they put the emphasis in their long-term maintenance on romance – date nights at romantic restaurants for candle-lit dinners and soft music, trying to remind themselves of what it was like when things were new. You want to do things that get your heart racing, kick your adrenal glands into overdrive and get your central nervous system engaged.
There are things you can do to get that spark back if things are diminishing.
The death of passion in a long-term relationship is one of the biggest killers of relationships because we associate it with being bored.
It’s the age old joke that sleeping with the same person for the rest of your life is the equivalent of eating the same frozen hamburger for every meal for all eternity while all of your single friends are zipping out to gastropubs and eating multiple delicious entrees in combinations that stand in defiance of the laws of God and Man. While that initial honeymoon stage of the relationship fade in order to form a bond that is deeper and more intimate as the two of you become closer and intertwine your lives together, it doesn’t mean that you can’t still live it up like a couple of horny teenagers at the start of a slasher movie.
Subsequent experiments found that the Coolidge effect was present in females as well; introducing a new male into the mix would cause the female to have renewed interest in sex.
One of the things that makes long-term monogamy incredibly difficult is that our bodies literally work against our best intentions; the dopamine spike from sex with the same partner decreases over time but spikes with a new one. That’s why the sexual encounters in the early stages of a relationship are firestorms of excitement that culminate in orgasms that blow the top of your head off: your body is reacting to the novelty of a new partner, and settles down as you become more familiar with one another. we get a little bored, even when we have an intense partner as well as greater sexual satisfaction.
Part of a long-term relationship means that over time, you’ve gotten to know your partner on an incredibly deep level, almost as well as you know yourself.